No Touchy!

Ephesians 5:25 "25 As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed, gave himself up on its behalf."

This one is for all you married fellows out there. That's right guys, I'm talking to you. All you grizzly, bearded, mini-van driving, grocery store-errand running, manly men of manliness out there. I have some amazing advice for you—especially for those that have children. This is life-changing advice that will not only help your relationship with your spouse, but it will give you children a great example of what it truly means to be a man. You ready for it? Here it is.

Kiss your wife. Kiss her and hug her every chance you get. Hold her hand, get the door, and buy her a gift for no reason. Show affection.

How often do we see this today, really? I mean, other than the really gross encounters at the supermarket where we get to see the twenty-something’s making out like there's no tomorrow, how many times do we see adult men showing affection to their wives? I mean real spirit-filled affection that doesn’t involve things that should only happen behind closed doors?

Think about when you first started to court your lovely bride. How many times did you go out of the way to impress her? To make her feel like she was above everything else in your world?

Let's be honest with each other, you know you took every opportunity to hold her hand or put your arm around her. You know at that point you would've taken on a honey badger with nothing but your bare hands to get another second in her presence.

You old softy, you.

Let's be honest with each other. After you were married the fire died a little, right? I'm not blaming anyone; I know that it just does. And if you have children, well, I'm sure that brings a whole new level of stress.

Think on this, though. Marriages are crumbling at an alarming rate. Children are thrown in the middle of divorces faster than you can snap your finger. We are living in a society where you can choose to be a divorce lawyer—as a career!

Marriage is mocked by every single show on network television. Children are growing up in a society where sex is being sold to them every second of their day. Men are measured in their worth by how many women they've slept with. Everything in this world is telling YOUR children that casual sex is just dandy. They see marriage as dull and bland. There is no intimacy in marriage from what they've seen and what they've been told.

How do we fix that? Start in your home. Kiss your wife whenever possible. Hug her. Hold her hand. Make sure your children see you! I'm not talking full on make out sessions with your kids in the room. I'm talking a quick peck; a good three or four second hug. The younger your kids are and the more they see this, it will instill in them a sense that marriage is not an empty, joyless existence. It will teach them healthy expectations for intimacy. Not the pornographic image of “love” our society sells. You are showing them that Yah's design for a man and a woman is indeed a blessing and not the curse that it has been made out to be.

Men, let's talk about your sons. What are you teaching your son by all of this? You're teaching him that a real man doesn't need to sleep around. That he cherishes the wife of his home. That it is better for a man to love one woman his whole life than to never know what real love is at all. You are teaching him, even without words, the emphasis of Yah's plan. And your daughters? Well, much the same. You teach them not to settle for anything less than a man who treats them exactly the way you treat their mama. Children aside, how much would your wife noticed if you started being more attentive to her? Hmm? I can't see any way that this would hurt your relationship with her, either.

Now, take it out of the home.

GASP! "Did he just say we should kiss and hold hands in public?"

You're darn right I did. Again, I'm not talking about full on, PG-13 cuddles, but if your kids see you treating your wife in public the way you do at home, it solidifies your honesty. It solidifies the image of how a man of Yah should love his wife. Get the door for her, hold her hand. Just take a little time out to do a little something extra. Your relationship will grow, and you will set a Yah-like example of what a man should be. I know it's not easy. I know life gets in the way. But you married her for a reason. Try to remember that. 

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, 

and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. 

-Franz Schubert-

 

She was the woman Yah broke your heart for. She deserves your best. Your children deserve your best so that they can, in turn, be their best and hopefully, receive the best. It's no coincidence that we are called the "Bride of Yeshua". He loves us unfailingly. That is what we are called to be as husbands. Our society has put such emphasis on the physical outside of marriage. It's time we put it back inside where it belongs. Men, this is our responsibility. We have to step up or it's over. There is no other choice. 

Ephesians 5:28-30  ²⁸ This is how husbands ought to love their wives — like their own bodies; for the man who loves his wife is loving himself. ²⁹ Why, no one ever hated his own flesh! On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the Messianic Community, ³⁰ because we are parts of his Body.

One Love, 

Albert C. Coble